


AUGGH MY SQUEEDLY SPOOCH

by Poopmeal420



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 04:36:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13380321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poopmeal420/pseuds/Poopmeal420
Summary: Zim tries sleeping for the first time, and gets excited for his morning walk to school with dib. Only to find Gir is making a huge mess, and loud enough noise to wake his whole neighborhood, including precious Dib, who rarely gets sleep at all.





	1. Burnt Waffles

Zim stared at his alarm clock. 6:24 AM. It would not be LONG until school would start, and the GREAT ALMIGHTY ZIIM would start his second semester at his filthy human “school”. He had to admit, it was quite disgusting to play the role of such lowly creatures, what with their, erm, emotions, and germs and all. But atleast the human Dib had made everyday a little more interesting for him. He almost made school worth going to. That and he could NEVER blow his cover, the fate of the mission rests in his oh so responsible hands. Zim suddenly heard a loud CRASH from the kitchen, and his long, sleek irken antennas sprung up suddenly in surprise. Now what was that pathetic excuse for an assistant up to. All he ever did was RUIN his , totally would have worked if GIR wasn’t in his way kind of plans. Zim rubbed his dreary, round and pink eyes, he didn't really need sleep, but, eh, he could get used to the feeling of being unconscious for a little while. The small irken groaned off of the couch he had made his “bed” and of course was immediately greeted with a booming “YOU AWAKE YET?” Gir. Zim’s ears rung with the shrillness of Gir’s robotic voice, and he shoved the planky robot to the side. “NOW IS NOT THE TIIIME FOR YOUR SHENANIGANS GIR, I HAVE IMPORTANT BUSINESS TODAY AND I DON'T WANT YOU GETTING IN MY WAY” zim stomped, as loud as he could with his small , quiet feet to put out a fire that was ablaze in the kitchen. Gir giggled insanely as zim struggled to put it out with his foot and by throwing random things at it. “OH BALONEY THIS IS JUST PERFECT, AT THIS RATE I WILL BE LATE FOR THE MORNING WALKK! OR EVEN SCHOOOLL!!!” Zim retorted as the fire only grew in size. He nervously stuttered about what he should do, until he heard a sudden, gentle knock at his door. “ZIM WHY IS YOUR HOUSE SMOKING, WHY ARE YOU EVEN EXPERIMENTING THIS EARLY AND CAN I SEE?” DIB HUMAN. “I-I’M COMING DIIBBB, AND , UM..” Zim struggled to admit that the cause of the smoke was not one of his brilliant experiments that dib so much enjoyed to watch him unwind, and that instead it was a heaping pan of burnt waffles. What an idiot he was for letting himself SLEEP for once. Gir had taken over the entire house while he slept like the normal human larvae he was. Gir. Gir had answered the door, zim had just noticed, and dib was looking at him from the dark, but sunrise speckled doorway, staring with piercing disappointment. Hahah, it was kind of hard to take him seriously in his stereotypical flying saucer pajamas.It sounded as if Gir had awoken the whole neighborhood with his piercing banging as he cooked, for tired yelling sounded from the doorway. Zim ignored this and focused on Dib. He wondered if he actually had gotten any sleep last night. The paranormal investigator's eyes scrolled analytically to the small robot, who was picking his nonexistent nose. “I MADE IT MYSELFFF” he shrieked and began to scream and bounce around the living room in a circular motion.Dib's eyes were tired and heavy, and followed the movement of the bouncing robot exactly. “I tried to get him to sleep too I swear” Zim said. The night before Dib had helped him learn how to sleep. To his own surprise. Dib seemed to even have a harder time sleeping than he did, though. Which was strange. He was always going on about ghosts and strange things instead of sleeping. He didn't expect the Dib to be the way he was after their past quarrels , but he seems to have changed. But he still hasn't gotten over the fact that he is an alien. Maybe the human would soon realize- “Zim” The human's voice sounded faint. “ZIM”  
“HUH WHAGHT” zim looked around in a mass of panic and “HOO -- HAHS” He turned to where the fire had been, and where dib now stood triumphantly, with a strange, red tubular device. Zim seemed suspicious and immediately let out a “HEY HOW DID Y-” Dib retorted, “I put the fire out, and ..Before you accuse this of being some, crAAAZY advanced tech, its just a fire extinguisher, normal human technology” he simply put with a signature, smug smirk, that he always pulled just for zim, though this time it was a bit more drained of it’s shine than usual. “You should really own one, or atleast tell the irken to invent some better, fire countering tech” he handed the strange red tube to zim, who squinted at him as he did so. Zim threw it to the ground in disgust immediately. “Silly Dib human, I could have done that” he said so quietly that the only one who heard it was him. Dib seemed immediately drained, and headed for the door. “Please, PLEASE never wake me up this early again over burnt waffles, and please be more careful with that… Thing. It makes me worry” Zim rolled his eyes at how soft dib had become. Sure gir is a massively destructive being, but...But his squeedlyspooch had also began to sink a little for he knew he had given his Dib friend a hard time. He would make sure such an incident so early in the morning would not happen again. The Dib human closed the door as he left, hopefully to get some extra rest before the school day. Otherwise he surely would have stayed a little longer? Surely. Zim peered at gir, who now sat calm and motionless, hypnotized by a commercial depicting some rubber piggies. Zim peered from the robot to the kitchen clock, which now was burnt to a crisp, but he could still barely make out the time. 20 minutes until the walk to school would begin.


	2. Mind Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Morning walk commences, and Dib discusses his progress on fixing up the irken ship that belonged to the irken Tak with Zim. Zim praises him, and suddenly gets that weird feeling again. He is suspicious that Dib is using some kind of emotion controlling device on him.

A gentle, robotic snoring was all zim could hear in his irken antennas as he opened the door to begin his trek to the oh so normal school that earth children went to. Gir slept um..alot for a robot. As he let his first, black little foot leave the house, gir began to scream very intensely. Eugh. Zim rolled his contact covered eyes as he tried to set his foot further, but the screaming from the robot just became more intense. Zim growled in frustration and pulled his foot back into the house, and gir ceased his screaming. Of course he had to get him to shut up. He had to be DISCIPLINED!! Zim trotted across his home , and his feet squeaked with every step. He opened the refrigerator and retrieved a rubber piggy from it. He then trotted back to gir, and threw it at him. It bounced off of Gir’s can shaped head and then gently to Gir's side with a heaving “sqEAAAKK”   
“Awwwww Mary I love you too” Gir whispered sleepily as he hugged the rubber piggy. Zim stared at gir as he slept, and turned back towards his door to find it to be quite bright outside now. Could he be..LATE??? none the matter, Dib would understand what he must put up with in the mornings. Zim hopped out of his base, and examined his defense gnomes to assure they were in working order. He began to HMMM as he examined them, when he suddenly noticed a sleek black point of hair that waved above his fence and approached quickly. Dib. Zim began to fix his disguise quickly, and Dib only stared as he did so. Dib sighed. “You know I'm like, literally the only human besides Gaz that knows your true identity and form right? Did you forget?” he said , annoyed. “HMM? Of course I know that. But my hair was just out of place” zim was slightly embarrassed for being caught being kind of stupid in front of Dib. Dib was one human he could trust , but not too much. He is too afraid Dib may be acting so nice to him lately only to weaken him and discover his oh so juicy secrets. Not to mention, the strange urges and painful emotions zim had experienced occasionally while being around the paranoid human. Maybe dib was using some sort of human mind technologies on him to make him feel strange, make him feel hot , and , erm, sticky. Emotional. When he thought this way though, he felt severely disappointmented. Surely dib was being kind to him for no tricks. He loved talking to Dib so often. “So are we going or what smart guy?” Dib held out his hand to zim, who reluctantly, and who hesitated for a moment, took it. They began walking slow paced, like always. Zim listened to dib as he began to jabber on about irken technology, and how he was still working out the bugs with Tak’s ship. He was always extremely impressed with how much this human knew of the irkens after spying on him so often. Was his disguise and base really that transparent? Dib does seem to know ALOT about the irkens, but oh, he still has so much more to learn about us than what lies on the surface.We may just be as complex in our superior emotions and biology as the humans are. “And so I rebooted the ship!! And it actually lifted a few inches off the ground!! Im so close to enabling it to fly again I just know it!! Whatta you think zim? Is there something more i can do?” Zim giggled at Dib’s dedication to his little ship project , and saw many flaws in how Dib described his progress. He could get that thing flying SO EASY. Zim began to poke and prod at the flaws in Dib’s work with the ship, and also congratulate his progress as they hiked away from their neighborhood and nearer to the school. “You see, it is quite difficult and complex, but you have made some great progress, just don't use that thing against me because its IRKEN and I will know exactly how to defeat you in it.” The green human patted Dib’s hair as if praising him for his handiwork, and Dib seemed to enjoy it, as he smiled slightly and stared at zim. “We’ll see about that” Dib smiled challengingly as he spoke.   
Zim stared back and seemed to have lost any expression he had. His face went blank. Then suddenly he screamed “AEUGH. WHAT IS THIS.” zim removed his hand from the boy’s head and began to clutch his head in pain and stumbled away from dib. That weird painful feeliNG filled zim’s organs and he doubled over in wretching pain, twitching on the school sidewalk . Dib worriedly hovered over zim as he wiggled around in pain. “Zim are you alright?” ZIM SCREAMED VERY LOUDLY “YOU FOOL , AUGGGHH YOU FOOL, YOUR MIND TRICKS WON'T STOP ZIIM!!” zim pointed accusingly at Dib, who stood there smitten, as the alien screamed at him in fear on the sidewalk in front of the school. A few kids ran over and watched as zim wretched in pain and dib stood above him, watching him, confused. Soon an entire circle of mindless classmates had herded together like birds who all saw Dib and Zim like a tasty pile of crumbs. Dib’s eyelids half covered his eyeballs in annoyance, and he grabbed zim by the collar and dragged him towards the school before the class started laughing at them any more than they already were.


	3. An Irken in Love??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Zim consults Dib of the strange emotions he has been feeling, Dib insists Zim is in love with someone at the school and makes fun of him. Zim overhears this and realizes he is possibly in the strange human Love, and insists on consulting the tallest for advice.

What was up with zim? Did I really hurt him somehow? I mean, im sure he would expect me to pull something against him, but mind stuff? Hm, maybe it was possible. Dib stared out the window of the classroom and spyed a squirrel climbing weakly up a tree, but then falling onto its back, and doubling over in pain. He sighed and decided to rummage through his organized desk for his sketchbook. Dib wasn't all for listening to whatever the teacher may have been saying at the moment,he more so liked to draw pictures. They were much cooler. Dib glanced slyly across the classroom at zim’s desk. Zim wasn't paying attention , and seemed to be adjusting some device under his desk. Dib took a deep breath, long and dry, and began to sketch out Zim in his sketchbook. He had to study his enemy. Er..friend? No, Zim was still definitely the enemy. He still wants to destroy earth!! But.. Maybe I can still change his mind. Dib angrily scribbled a pair of devil horns onto sketchy zim's head as the lunch bell rang , causing the entire class to erupt in sound and movement as they tumbled out of the classroom. All except for Zim. Dib scribbled a final arrow tail onto the sketch of zim, and closed his sketchbook. The small boy began to leave the classroom, avoiding the teacher’s terrifying gaze. He almost ran past her desk completely in fear as she growled at him, and he stumbled to the door. “JEEZ, LADY!!” Dib shrieked as he dusted himself off. Dib proceeded to the door, only to bump into something, or someone, and stumbled again. “OH COME ON” Dib said before looking at the pair of contact covered alien eyes. Zim was blocking the doorway.Zim smiled an eviiill smile “oh, so sorry sweet Dib, but before you leave I need to know what you've been doing to me” zim sounded almost cheerful but evil at the same time, which Dib was surprised was even possible. “N-Never ZIM! I-I I don't even know what you’re talking about to be honest”. Dib backed away slowly. “Just let me go, Zim” Dib stared at zim intensely as if to let him know he was being serious, and zim depicted an almost innocent, fragile face. “You really don't know what I mean?” Zim pushed the small boy to the ground with ease and walked closer until he could corner the boy against the teacher’s desk.Dib was scared. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest as Zim crouched down to meet Dib’s challenging gaze. Dib made sure not to show any fear.“I know this feeling isn't irken, human dib. It is something far different. And I need you to explain it to me, if it is not your doing. I just want to be rid of it” Zim then slowly stood up and offered Dib his hand. Dib’s gaze shot to zim and then zim’s hand, and he let himself be helped up.   
Dib scratched his head and looked at zim questionably. What the hell was this idiot talking about?   
Before he could even think, Zim had left the classroom. “Hey wait for ME” Dib skidded out of the classroom in a flash after the green human.   
The teacher sipped her coffee quietly and watched as Dib had left. 

“Damn they’re definitely gay or something.” she said to herself after a long sip of coffee. 

As I made my way into the cafeteria , I noticed my little sister Gaz sitting at our usual table, playing a Nintendo 3DS, that was coated in punk stickers. She seemed busy but HOLY CRAP SHE NEEDED TO HEAR THIS , IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING HE COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED TO HAPPEN TODAY. “GAZ, GAAZ” I rushed over to our table and sat next to her. I heard her let out a low growl at me as I did so. “Gaz, listen, I think Zim is in love with someone.” Gaz did not look up from her game as she spoke. “Yeah so?” Dib exclaimed “That means he has to be in love with a HUMAN!! do you know how hard that's gonna be for him?? It'll be hilarious!!” Gaz ignored his mockery and snorted, “you don't know that, maybe there ARE other aliens here than you know, idiot”. I realized she was right. Gosh. I had so much to learn about that. More aliens than zim?? Now that's something Im in for. 

 

Zim stared at Dib from across the lunchroom as he waved his arms about at his little sister, Gaz, speaking and laughing about SOMETHING. Surely that Dib wasn't talking about him.. But just in case .. Zim applied the helmet-like device he had been working on in class before. He giggled sinisterly as he turned a small crank on the helmet, and began to hear everything the Dib human was saying. “I think Zim is in Love with someone” Zim’s face distorted into curiosity and heavy disgust. Zim quietly growled as he bit into his peas, ……  
He let out a loud scream as his mouth burned at a single touch of the pea “AUGGGHH”. Everyone in the lunchroom turned to look at zim. There was a silence.   
“Um..auuggh these peas are so … NOURISHING to my HUMAN EATING URGES” .there was another silence. The entire cafeteria went back to their usual business. Whew. Another close one.Zim settled down and went back to poking his peas. Zim wondered if what he was feeling was what the human race considered.. “Love” 

 

Zim rushed home quicker than a planet burns in the planet jacker’s sun, for he HAD to consult the tallest for advice on this. Surely the tallest would know more of humans than he, as they knew about many species all over the galaxy. He WOULD consult Dib, more, but he couldn't talk to him right now, it made him feel physically weak. Last he checked , irken were not supposed to feel this way. Nor should such a superior race as the irken be so… affected by these emotions. Something was wrong with him. As Zim approached his house and entered, he slammed the door quickly. “GIR PLEASE DON'T BOTHER ME THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT” zim said quickly as he climbed into his toilet and flushed himself downwards in a spiral.


End file.
